5 ways to improve your confidence

Confidence doesn’t come naturally. Everyone goes through phases of insecurity and self-doubt, especially in today’s world. Social media doesn’t make it any easier to feel confident, I mean, going through your Instagram feed, seeing all those pretty girls with their perfect hair and designer handbags can make you feel like you’re nothing in comparison. I’m here to tell you, you’re unique, you’re you, and don’t let social media influence the way you perceive yourself.

A lot of my friends always ask me how I’m so confident all the time, well I’m here to tell you I have days of insecurity as well, even if I don’t show it. Especially with all the things I learnt last year.  Most of the time, I just wing it. But I thought I’d compile a list of tips that boost my confidence most of the time.

1. Stop caring about what other people think

This is so important. I know it may be hard, but the mentality of “what will they say? what will they think?” is so bad for the mind. Life is so much more fun when you stop trying to please everyone. People are always going to judge you, it’s just a case of what you will do with all that negative energy. Once you stop caring what others think of you, the second part of your life begins, aka having another serving of cake because you’re still hungry god damnit.

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2. Think positive

I know everyone says this, but it really does help. Think of the Law of Attraction. For those of you who don’t know what it is, to put it simply, the Law of Attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive thoughts you can bring positive experiences to your life. I’ve been reading this book called, Ask and it is Given, and it’s fascinating how a change in mindset can really help you. For example, lets say you’re looking for a job and you’re thinking about how you’re lacking a job and don’t have money. You’re focusing on the negative aspect of what you really want. Instead of thinking about how you’re ‘lacking a job’, you should be thinking, “I will get the job and work for it.” Instead of focusing on what you don’t or can’t have, think of what you want and what you will do to achieve it and go make it happen. Once you channel all your energy into something positive, you will attract positive experiences towards yourself, if that makes sense. If you want to read more about it I highly recommend this book.

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3. Do something that scares you

There’s nothing worse than feeling a sense of dread or that nervous flutter in your stomach when you want to do something that absolutely terrifies you. Like if you were to go skydiving (which you don’t have to in this case but if you do, be my guest!) Whether it’s going to a gym class, travelling to a new country or even talking to a stranger, go out and do something! There’s a video where Will Smith explains how he was so terrified of going skydiving that he couldn’t sleep the night before, but once he jumped, all those fears just melted away. We’re always so scared of doing the unknown because we don’t know the outcome, but once you do it, you realise, “oh that’s it?”. Once your fear is eradicated, you will feel optimistic and will be able to do other things that would have previously been scary.

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4. Spend time with yourself

There’s this stigma of surrounding yourself with people just to feel ‘less lonely’, but sometimes even when you’re in a room full of people you can feel so alone. I find that spending time with myself is so self-assuring. Take yourself out on a date, treat yourself to some chocolates, or take some time to pamper yourself at home. Having quality ‘you’ time is so important. It will leave you feeling recharged, relaxed and ready to take on the world. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to love spending time with yourself and feel confident in doing things on your own terms.

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5. Don’t sell yourself short

Self-doubt is a killer, especially in moments of weaknesses when your confidence can go from 10 to 0 real quick. I think everyone goes through the stage of wondering if they’re good enough. But you know what, you are good enough, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if you don’t have the qualities of someone else, you’re you and that’s what makes you unique. Sometimes, you just have to put on some nice clothes, wear some lipstick, look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re gorgeous (it really works!).

I hope you enjoyed this post. Do you have any tips on how to increase your confidence?

Photos by the lovely Ami Ford.

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